Off the Shelf Media

The leaves have begun to change their color. The sun is setting earlier and earlier. And the air has a briskness about it that simply demands you throw on your comfiest sweatshirt. Meanwhile, every retailer is full to the brim with costumes, candy, and pumpkins. Fall has arrived. 

The fall season holds a special place in my heart. I’m a sucker for a pumpkin-spiced latte and an avid football fan. Yet, for all the aspects of fall that I adore, there is one crucial part of the season that I truly despise. I hate horror movies. 

Of course, I can appreciate that high-quality horror movies exist. But personally, I want nothing to do with them. Why? I simply don’t enjoy being scared. 

To be clear, I don’t hate Halloween. In fact, I love dressing up and heading out to a good costume party, but I take no joy in intentionally getting scared. In the past, I’ve made attempts to walk through haunted houses. Every time, I have to be literally carried out after being frozen in fear. I also can’t bring myself to play horror games, though my fellow OTSM writer Houston Vick’s review of Alan Wake II came close to convincing me.

Though I hate horror movies, I do have a few must-watch films I binge every fall. Instead of marathoning hours of Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street, or Friday the 13th, these are my best non-horror movies for fall to get myself excited for Halloween.

Honorable Mentions 

Though I wouldn’t say this suggestion is for everyone, it’s a must-watch for me every October. If you aren’t a millennial, the Halloweentown series probably doesn’t do much for you. For starters, it’s a Disney Channel Original Movie (fun fact: it was the fifth DCOM ever made). In the name of aiming to be somewhat objective, the movie is a bit too childish to list as a must-watch for the masses.

Aside from a few complaints, like recasting protagonist Marnie Piper for the series’s final installment, Return to Halloweentown, it’s a whimsical, nostalgic film series that I can’t help but turn on every October. In case you’re wondering, Halloweentown High is my favorite while I could take or leave Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge. F*ck you, Kalabar.

Now, let’s get into my real suggestions.

Hocus Pocus

It astounds me that Hocus Pocus is not a top three Halloween movie for everyone. This movie is fun and it skillfully weaves together humor, adventure, action, and horror. For children, soul-sucking witches that prey on young kids add just enough terror without being downright scary. Coupled with a walking undead henchman who can’t keep his head on straight (literally), it perfectly incorporates ‘creepy’ into the movie without overdoing it. 

The antagonistic Sanderson Sisters trio, Winifred (Bette Midler), Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker), and Mary (Kathy Majimy), deserve their place amongst the greatest and most recognizable symbols of Halloween. To call them anything less than iconic would be a crime. The group is so likeable, that I almost find myself rooting for them at times. 

Adding to classic characters and a well-blended concoction of genres, it also includes several iconic scenes like the Sanderson Sister’s rendition of “I Put A Spell On You”

For lack of a better phrase, this movie isn’t just a bunch of hocus pocus. Its cult classic status has been well-deserved, though I’m not certain the same can be said for its Disney+ sequel.  

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetle-…I had to do it. Beetlejuice is one of my favorites on this list. By no means would I consider myself a Tim Burton devotee, but I wish this movie was more fitting to watch throughout the year because that’s how much I enjoy it. I’ve even seen the Broadway show in New York City…it’s not as good, but it has the humor down. 

As he does in all of his roles, Michael Keaton brings Betelgeuse, our distasteful, ghoulish antagonist, to life (and with only 17.5 minutes of screen time). When added in with additional star performances from Winona Ryder and Catherine O’Hara, it’s no surprise this movie has been introduced to generation after generation.

While the film features touches of humor, it doesn’t back down from dark and dreary topics. Altogether, it creates a movie that has more than deserved its place among Halloween classics. The fact that it took over 30 years for Hollywood to pump out a sequel is the scariest part of this series.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time felt like a right of passage into adulthood. I vividly remember watching it for the first time as a college freshman. But to be honest, I’m not exactly sure why this movie has become a Halloween-time classic. Sure, it parodies the ideas of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, but that’s really it. 

Whether you’re a casual viewer or a die-hard fan, there’s also no denying the sheer cultural impact this movie has had. Not to mention, it has one of the greatest soundtracks of all time. “Dammit Janet,” “The Time Warp,” and “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me” are only a few of the songs that are guaranteed to play at every Halloween party. 

Aside from the film’s own merit, it’s also been referenced across movies, books, television, and more. Glee dedicated an entire episode to it. Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower sees its main characters attend a live performance, and it’s even gotten nods from shows like Phineas and Ferb and Sesame Street! Its reach is nearly unmatched.

Not everyone is a fan of musicals, which I understand. For me, I love a good musical whether it’s on a stage or the screen. In fact, seeing a live performance of Rocky Horror is an item on my bucket list that I hope to check off before too long. And hopefully, it’s better than Beetlejuice on Broadway…

Ghostbusters

Finally, Ghostbusters is probably the least “Halloween-y” of the bunch, but given that the entire movie is about ghosts, it seems fitting enough. And I think it goes without saying, it makes for a perfectly timeless group Halloween costume.

From its Oscar-nominated theme song to the one-of-one alarm of the Ecto-1, you can hear this movie a mile away. Along with the team’s classic jumpsuits and the hard-to-miss Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, the sights and sounds of this movie truly stand out. 

And who could ever forget about the cast? Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, the list can go on. It’s also arguably one of the most “quotable” movies out there. My personal favorite quote comes from Mr. Murray himself: “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… MASS HYSTERIA!” It feels pretty ‘on the nose’ to me. 

Outside of the original trilogy, the rest of the Ghostbusters intellectual property (IP) being pumped out in recent years has fallen flat on expectations. Unfortunately, as much as I do love Paul Rudd, the reboots simply don’t come close to competing with this 80s classic. 

While this list is not exhaustive, I do think these are some of the ‘best of the best’ for anyone like me who refrains from partaking in classic horror this time of year. 

Though seemingly different, each of these films is marked by its superb performances, iconic characters, catchy soundtracks, and undeniable humor. It’s also why most of them have sparked spinoffs, sequels, Broadway shows, videogames, and more. 

Halloween doesn’t have to be synonymous with horror. What films do you rewatch every year? Leave us a note in the comments!